I only ever asked to live fully....and you have given me that

I woke up today in an apartment with a broken a/c unit. I can say the same about this yesterday, however thankfully (first time you hear me say this) I had to go to work. At least there the weather machine is controlled by a polar bear, usually I wear a jacket and work with it. It's a thousand degrees in here and I know some one turned fall on a couple of weeks ago, I'm just waiting for that wonderfulness to seep through a window around here.

Today I'm going to talk about human expectation, well in this case what is expected of this 26 year old by others surrounding her.
Living in North Carolina was never my plan, like ever in fact if you asked me ten years ago what I was gonna do what I left the house, my answer was always travel the world with work. I wanted to follow my moms footsteps, but I'm not good at chemistry EPA regulation or international Law. My skills are computers, cars, hvac and construction (and physics but I have never used it unless to play sports where on my head I can calculate how to win).
I've tried relentlessly since finishing my schooling to get jobs where I could be a international goddess of computers. Sadly not one option has appeared. They say you can't fail if you try but lately I feel like I've failed so many times that I feel there's no point in continuing.
I was expected to move here with my (at the time husband) and work in a place I've never been. I made it work, but when the expectation became too great and things weren't working I walked away.
I then was expected to be ok with how that worked out, and with a roommate that followed this disaster I was expected to do what ever he wanted, again I walked away.
And so the cycle continued, as time went by I started to realize men expect me to do what they want, not what I want. I am just supposed to do what is asked silently, and no one ever asks "Hey what do you want?"

I recently figured that out... I don't know.

I've been pushed around and expected to do everything for so long that I stopped thinking about me. When I brought this to my mother her response was find a man with money and do what he wanted so I could do what I want.
I don't like that answer, its purposely to me. I am a person not a piece of property or something to own. But as I go on I realize that woman in america are just expected to do what men around tell them, to have no option to move forward. Why? Because every religious book says so and that currently is how society works.

Expectations are a waste of my time, I don't want to do what a man tells me to do. Honestly I hate almost all men, it started when my mom got married to my very very Christian step dad. From the beginning of my time as a person I've been told I will do what "he" (whoever that may be) says. No, screw that I want to do what I want to do.
I want to expect you men to bow to me, to listen to me and to hear me. I'm good at my job I'm great at engineering weird things on the weekends to play with. I like programming and I don't want to do it for someone who's going to pay me pennies for what work I see as worth millions. I want to expect everything from others..... not the other way around.


With this economy (and I'm talking world economy) how are the youngest, the smartest and the women to go forward and break the boundaries of creation in this world? If I can't get a job doing what I had planned, how will those who follow me do so? I feel like we need a golden age, and we have it on you tube with t.v. shows and movies the artist of our world can create, you can even learn almost anything on it.
But what about the rest of us? The technical, the engineers with no backing and the citizens who just don't know what direction to go.
I watch the news way more than I should (at least that's my assumption)and watching America being at war this long, knowing that people are slowly being removed from this planet and not by any choice of their own. I came up with the idea of all wars being turned into video game wars, tournaments essentially where the governments of the currently disputing countries write up an agreement they both must follow so winning team gets X where the loosing team gets Y. I'm not staking this on one game, I'm saying a convention multiple games where all of our citizen can have the pride to fight for their country and have more information on what it is we are doing to these other people with out destroying their homes, and taking their lives. What are we gaining do it the way we do now?

Is it wrong after seeing and knowing all of this for me to expect more from the world?
Or is it my expectations that don't matter in this universe on this plane of existence?

I want to be able to say to the person who will save me from this cycle at the end of my life, "I only ever asked to live fully, and you have given me that."

This seriously is how I feel.....

Oh My, what budget do we have here?

So today I thought I'd cover budgets. I chose to do so after talking to my mother this morning, she was looking for a cat toy for her beloved monster (he likes to bite me and I was the one who adopted him over 10 years ago).
She was in her local grocery store and had no luck so she said she would try by going to the almighty walmart. I know we all have budgets we need to stick to and this is where I'm going to start, if you really want control of your budget... AVOID WALMART LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!
I'm serious about this, this company is a disaster and has been raping the american wallet for some time now.

Most of you would say this post is about hating capitalism and big box store, said is not the case and I will tell you why. About 3 months ago was the last time I treaded in a walmart, I went in for food 6 bags of it to be exact my final price for the food was almost 200 dollars. I was irate to say the least, 6 bags how is this possible I had even checked prices as I went.

After that I decided to do some analytics on how to save myself from certain overdraft, or even worst spending a weekend on the internet doing nothing healthy (I digital detox on the weekend, for those who don't know what this means I ask you to click the link over here >> click me!). Anyhow I ran a month long spreadsheet of what I had saved by making some changes. I was saving about 200 dollars a month by avoiding Walmart, it was making a huge difference in how my roommates and I we're spending weekends. I live with 2 men, so food doesn't last long in our house.

So to show you what I have done I'm going to give you a list of my changes.

First and most importantly, if you can find it at the dollar store buy it. I have a obsession with cleaning (as I said live with 2 guys so for me this is a big deal) All the cleaning supplies are 1 dollar and just of so much use, even the room sprays I like the carpet sprays its a no vacuum deal you spray walk away let dry and your house just smells so great. On top of that, I bake a ton, a lot of the baking supplies you find (example vanilla extract) are sold in small bottles the ones I've found in the dollar store are hugeeee and you just can't beat it.

Second stop, Big Lots the range on this is cheap to like top side 10$ for things you need. Food, house décore (they also have some awesome furniture for cheap)and oddly enough cheap toiletries. I would usually say like CVS or Wallgreens but biglots just beats them out. If you haven't heard of them see the link over >>> Here.

Third, your local grocery store. They usually have a rewards card, that will always trump walmarts "savings". The best part about this is if you shop it the right way, you can save so much. What you need to do for this that will make a difference is get the meat from the meat section. Avoid the frozen section when it comes to this. The difference is they will give you some good selection and it will be cheaper than the frozen section. Some of you would say no I can't do that all those meat are packaged and have to be use like right when I buy them!! No, this is where working hard will pay off pull the meat out of the packaging and put them in some freezer bags (dollar store ones are just as good as your name brands) and freeze them until needed.


My Last subject on this will be the rewards card and coupons. So rewards cards from big lots are great your points add up to like days where you get 20% or more off your shopping at random times, same with the local grocery store, I traverse food lion and my card not only gives me discounts but on the way in also gives a printed coupon list (there's a little machine in the front that prints them out) its just so wonderful.
Coupons, however are the one thing I think is a be very careful situation, it to me is like a 2 edged sword. They are great for what you need but if you use ones you don't you end up spending money on things you just truly don't need. So for coupons, I carefully choose what it is on the list that I need and use them nothing more( I made the mistake one time and it was costly).

On that note I shal provide you with one link for one of my favorite places to get coupons, the reason that it is my favorite is because for every coupon you use from them you get points for more free stuff which to me is just a plus!!!

Swagbucks <<< This place is just ever so nice! (and they have an app!) Happy Savings Guys!!!

We all had spaghetti nights.... they are cheap, easy and fun to play with!!!

Money.... none us of have any, but here's some fun ways to pay bills.....

Amongst my random internet roaming I find an interesting thing here or there involving money.
I'm going to be honest I always look for a secondary form of income. Let's face it, this economy sucks
and with school loans a car loan and rent my salary has been less then acceptable(no one's paying now and
days).
But as I spend the better part of my day in the office, secretly searching for an exit that will let me work
from home or perhaps if I'm lucky move somewhere else(I have a place I want to go that not here in Durham). I have lucked out and found
a spot here or there that will get me through the bills with out my bank over drafting, so today that is what
I will be sharing.
Let's start with my second job(yes I have one) I found a part time gig I can work on from home on Elance. This
is a marketplace
where your skills in your field (or if you want to dive into a new field) can be used on free-lancing. In
other words do what you like
and get paid for it. Mind you its never too much money but for those of us just trying to make it happen it is of great use.
My original reason for looking on the site was to see if I could find some way to make money marketing things on social media.
I know a great deal of people who have made a career on this, and to be honest I have scripts run most of my social media from a server
back home. I just put a database together with random information links pictures and what not, it just auto populates and boom we're good.
Which brings me to my next site, random internet hunting found me this little gem Keeger.com, this is the
first site I've seen that you can not only
use to promote you blog, twitter and what not but you make money from it as well. You get points for making
friends, post, and blasting your
blog posts. The points in turn are given a dollar amount and you withdraw your money. I have been playing with
it for a couple of weeks now
I don't mind the small amount of work you put out personally the idea itself is amazing to me. I think one
step up from that would be a
social media spot where you get paid for ad's you throw in your feed. Like ad sense but with a facebook feed
to keep it interesting.
The site itself I imagine is going to need a little more work before it comes to a level of greatness, but I
like being the first to play with new toys
so you won't here a complaint out of me. That all being rambled about, below I will attach the invitation link
for Keeger and Elance.
Go ahead and check it out!!!


You have been invited by Jessica to join the Keeger community. Visit Jessica's profile at http://keeger.com/members/alynder/

www.elance.com

My less than graceful return..............

In my never ending list of things to do I traversing the internet and forgot I own a blog.
I have no idea why I fail so much I suppose it's focus on work load or my never ending quest to gain more knowledge.
I spend the better part of my time testing out different things that teach me about everything.
Which brings me to my wonderful topic of the day, places on the internet to learn. (insert rainbow and unicorns here)
Not many people like to learn after they have been in school for years and years, but I am against that.
The reason is because as you learn more over time, you're keeping your brain in check. This also prevents most brain
numbing diseases like dementia and alzheimer's. Since both of those options run rampant in my family I spend most of my days
just gathering knowledge when I have free time at work.


I suppose I should tell you I specialize in Linux and programming, I didn't always and to be honest its been a while since
I've needed to code anything at work so as of right now I'm rusty. My daily combatant for this is code.org.
This is a website that can route you anywhere you want to be when it comes to coding, I wish they had it before I had entered college.
I spent soo much money on education, and the programming classes for just not up to par compared to what I've seen and worked with
on this site. I'm just amazed and getting less rusty on a daily basis. It's been a great experience and for those of you interested
in coding I suggest you go look and be educated. As you go as well there are other sites linked to code.org so you can expand your
knowledge as you go, all of which is free. I can't stress enough how awesome it is not to pay a ton of money you don't have to have
a poor learning experience.

My second option for getting your learns on is Udemy.com, this is a half free half pay situation. Most of the pay classes are worth it
on top of which over time if you see there's something you can teach people you can put a class up and earn money from educating others.
I've had a great experience with this site as well. As I said I stick to one set of learning when it comes to my daily bump in knowledge
however this sight can teach you anything about anything. From crafts to humanities and health and fitness. I prefer taking the free classes
but I'm not going to lie on this site I've paid for a class or two and I was nothing but happy about it. If you have time when your home and
you want to learn something random that will help you with life I suggest checking out Udemy.
So that's my little rant for the day, get ready because I will return to posting on a daily basis again(yes I know I have said it before,
but I've planned ahead this time so game on!)

https://www.udemy.com/

www.code.org

Breastfeeding and Feminism

I suppose I should be introducing myself now.  I am Marilyn.  Jessica invited me to her blog of awesomeness.  I'm not the most exciting person in the world.  I'm not the smartest.  I might not be awesome enough for this blog of awesomeness.  I have 3 kids, I work from home, and I home school.
I've been a human factory for the past 7 and a half years.   This means that every moment since sometime around mid-2005, my body has been used to grow and feed tiny people.  That's kind of awesome in and of itself, right?  Sometimes I feel like a cow, but most of the time I feel like I deserve a cape. 
Does this make me the anti-feminist?  Some say it does.  Some say I'm not living up to my potential   Are women like me setting our generation back?  Should I stick a bottle in their mouth, throw them in a daycare, and run wildly back into the workforce?  Or better yet, should I have remained celibate to focus on my career?  I think not.
It's empowering for me to be able to do what I do.  Kind of an ego trip, actually.  I could look at each of my babies up until around 6 months and say, "I made that."  Sure, I had the help of a sperm cell from my husband, but other than that, it's all me.  Every fat roll on them up until then came from my body.  I've used my milk to heal diaper rash, pinkeye, eczema, burns, mosquito bites, and scrapes.  I am Wonder Woman!

Ahhhh ADHD

So recently I failed to mention most of my random changes are due to the fact that I've not been able to keep a one track mind.... So color changes post changes this you can count on mainly because I'm back on some sugar and have more free time on my hands with my new job hooray! Keep in mind this may spawn into some random nonsense on youtube.... and when it does you all will be the first to know!!

IFTT.... is the best

IFTTT is a service that enables customers to connect channels (i.e. Facebook, Evernote, Weather, Dropbox, etc.) with personally created or publicly shared Recipes. Essentially, its the perfect way to shit storm social media.... in a good way. I've been using it for several months now and it has just been amazing.... although I have black holed my accounts into in an Infinite loop of news that never ends... sometimes that's good other times its the same stuff over and over again across the internet, which was an easy fix mainly just a change of recipes. So if you're interested in creating a cook book for the social media side of life, I suggest IFTT. As Always the link will be posted below: https://ifttt.com